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Shit my mom says

Mom: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Meeting some friends at The Palm for dinner.

Mom: They still don't have king crab legs because of the overfishing. Did you hear about the people who got sick because of lobsters?

Me: What?

Mom: It was on 60 Minutes. There's an island of people who got sick diving for lobsters. They're all crippled now.

Me: A whole island is crippled? Did the lobsters attack them?

Mom: No they want to make money selling lobsters so they dive with tanks that have no gauges and they all got sick. They showed a whole family who were crippled and then they died.

Me: On camera?

Mom: No, but they were hobbling around because they came up too fast.

Me: They got the bends.

Mom: No they got that deep sea diving sickness when you surface too fast.

Me: The bends.

Mom: No that's wrong. They had to sit in a machine--

Me: A hyperbaric chamber.

Mom: Can you take this seriously? All these people on this island are dying now. All for lobsters.

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