Saturday, August 27, 2011 at 11:46PM To revamp my previous list, earthquake, hurricane, flood watch, horny Sinead O'Connor, and now a tornado watch.
Countdown is on until Ghidorah and Mothra start duking it out beneath the Empire State Building.
For fuck's sake, people thought I was serious when I said I believed in the 2012 theories, now they're gonna hail me as a messiah.
Friday, August 26, 2011 at 11:55PM Earthquake on the east coast (a 2.5something in NYC), a hurriane five days later, and now, the surest sign of the end of days: Sinead O'Connor putting up a post on her blog proclaiming A) she's horny as hell and B) is soliciting offers for hairy Irishmen to have their way with her....especially anally.
Am I the only one imagining her singing "nothing compares to u" with every guy she fucks off the internet?
So if you're Irish (and for my cousins in Clare and elsewhere, especially Gerard) and feeling hot to trot for this:
...email her and go nuts. Just be warned she may ask you to bust a nut on a photo of the pope as foreplay.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011 at 3:12PM In the last 30 hours, we've had: a 5.3 quake in Colorado, a 5.8 quake in Virginia felt up the eastern seaboard, a 6.8 quake in Lima, Peru. California residents are mocking east coasters for not having done this before and running into the streets in a panic, which means, from a karma POV, they're due for the big one that turns them into an island nation right about.....now.
Is 2012 coming early? If so, do I really need to renew my apartment lease?
*EDIT* Just saw two more minor quakes hit in California. See what happens when you mock us, west coasties?
Send me a tribute of a golden calf or I'll smite you all with my next post.
Thursday, June 16, 2011 at 10:38AM In honor of Vancouver fans deciding to riot once again (and please spare me the 'it was only a few people' crap, because hundreds, if not thousands, of people gathered around to watch, do nothing, and allow it to happen), my good pal Paul Iannuzzo, working from a suggestion I made, came up with a new Canucks logo to be featured on their jersey next season, in honor of their wonderful fans.
Take it away, Johnny Canuck:
Monday, May 30, 2011 at 9:49PM I set the homepage for my mother's IE on her laptop to http://nyan.cat/ and went home.
Six hours later, she called screaming the internet was broken and "there's a stupid fucking cat made out of toast on my computer meowing!"
My face is in agony from laughing so hard.
Disclaimer: I never said I was a good child.