Wasting away again in Baccardiville
Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 9:34PM
Joe Reiter

I posted this last week at the start of the Austin Film Festival. 

I spent all of Saturday and parts of Sunday drinking a bottle and a half of Baccardi. That sounds worse than it is. I don't need a meeting. I swear.

I am

I am not in Austin, Texas this week.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival because I am home in Brooklyn.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival because I am home in Brooklyn with a torn anterior cruciate ligament, a partially torn meniscus, a partially torn medial collateral ligament, and a fracture in my tibia.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival because I am home in Brooklyn with a torn anterior cruciate ligament, a partially torn meniscus, a partially torn medial collateral ligament, and a fracture in my tibia which I sustained while jumping from a train.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival because I am home in Brooklyn with a torn anterior cruciate ligament, a partially torn meniscus, a partially torn medial collateral ligament, and a fracture in my tibia which I sustained while jumping from a train that was leaving the Attnang Puccheim station in Austria.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival because I am home in Brooklyn with a torn anterior cruciate ligament, a partially torn meniscus, a partially torn medial collateral ligament, and a fracture in my tibia which I sustained while jumping from a train that was leaving the Attnang Puccheim station in Austria four weeks ago.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival because I am home in Brooklyn with a torn anterior cruciate ligament, a partially torn meniscus, a partially torn medial collateral ligament, and a fracture in my tibia which I sustained while jumping from a train that was leaving the Attnang Puccheim station in Austria four weeks ago because after getting back on the train to recover a forgotten jacket, said train started to leave the station.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival because I am home in Brooklyn with a torn anterior cruciate ligament, a partially torn meniscus, a partially torn medial collateral ligament, and a fracture in my tibia which I sustained while jumping from a train that was leaving the Attnang Puccheim station in Austria four weeks ago because after getting back on the train to recover a forgotten jacket, said train started to leave the station and I was not carrying my passport or Eurail pass at that moment.

I am not in Austin, Texas this week for the 20th Austin Film Festival because I am home in Brooklyn with a torn anterior cruciate ligament, a partially torn meniscus, a partially torn medial collateral ligament, and a fracture in my tibia which I sustained while jumping from a train that was leaving the Attnang Puccheim station in Austria four weeks ago because after getting back on the train to recover a forgotten jacket, said train started to leave the station and I was not carrying my passport or Eurail pass at that moment and the next station stop was roughly eighty miles away.

So….in conclusion…I am not in Austin for the film festival this week because I tried to be Colt Seavers and ended up as Elijah Price.

Article originally appeared on Rhymes with Writer (http://www.joereiter.com/).
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